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Is A Life Coach Right For You?

Sherry Stripling, Seattle Times staff reporter
Rick Steinhauser / Knight Ridder Newspapers

You're always rushing. You're not getting anywhere. You're not even sure where you want to go. It might be time to hire a life coach.

The industry is booming, with estimates varying between 10,000 and 30,000 personal, executive or team coaches in the United States who have a range of specialties ‹ and quality of credentials. Even if they're hired to make executives better leaders, many coaches say they inevitably end up helping people find a better life/work balance.

But what does a coach really do? How do you find a qualified coach? If you can't pay $150 to $1,000 a month, are there less-expensive alternatives? Why do some people in other helping professions call this new field dangerous?

That's a lot of questions. And if you hire a coach, get ready for more. Coaches ask questions to help clients examine their lives and values: What's important to you? Where do you want to go? What's getting in your way?

"When we're on automatic pilot, we just keep doing what we've always done," says Fran Fisher, a pioneer in the field whose Bellevue-based Academy for Coach Training has partnered with Antioch University Seattle to offer courses. "The coach helps the client become aware of those patterns. These are the choices I've been making. These are the results. These are the benefits and this is what those results are costing me."

As the average working hours expand in the United States and 65 percent of people tell pollsters they spend off hours doing things they don't want to do, many people can't stop long enough to reassess their lives. It takes time to make time, coaches will tell them.

In the spirit of the profession, here are more questions:

How does coaching work?

Many coaches work strictly over the phone and many start with a free 30-minute consultation. From there, coaches provide questions or surveys designed to help the client see what he or she wants to achieve, and identify barriers.

Carolyn Fung, a coach from Redmond, says she starts with general questions and then makes them more specific. What does it mean if you say you want adequate time with family?

"I ask a lot of questions to help people get unstuck," she says. "I remind them of their strengths so that gives them encouragement. I can be a supportive ear and help them get a sense of clarity of where they want to go next. I can also hold them to their goals."

Coaching has been described as "a technology of elevated inquiry and deep listening." The assumption is that deep down, people know what they want.

"I do not offer my ideas or opinions or advice," says Fisher. "I say, 'Where do you think you could find out?' 'Who could you ask?' The client needs to generate the changes or it won't be a meaningful change."

But Sandy Vilas, CEO of the largest coaching school, Coach U, says clients also want advice. (His Colorado-based school has 10,000 students and graduates in 51 countries; 90 percent get their training by phone conference.)

"If somebody is going to pay me $500 a month, they want results," Vilas says. "If they're going through something that I know a great deal about and I don't give them my knowledge and opinion, that's ridiculous."

People are tired of waiting 10 or 20 years for change, and they want a partner/champion/sounding board to support them, says Vilas. The questions he asks are: Who are you? What do you really want? How are you going to get it?

How do coaches get trained?

Anyone can call him or herself a coach, so the client must research the coach's training.

In 1999, there were three coaching schools in the nation, according to Fisher, who is a board member for the Washington, D.C.-based International Coach Federation and chair of the ICF's credentialing committee. Now there are a dozen accredited schools in the United States and 100 smaller schools here or in other countries.

Coaches who complete a minimum of 125 hours of training, including supervised coaching, can be called "certified coaches." To be ICF-accredited as a "professional certified coach," they need an additional 750 hours of experience. Coaches who do not attend ICF accredited schools can gain the "professional certified coach" title, but they must pass additional written and oral exams.

The coaching certificate program run in by the Academy for Coach Training and Antioch University Seattle costs $9,235 and takes nine to 18 months to complete. Coach U costs $4,795 and takes 18 to 24 months.

What's the difference between therapy, coaching?

Many coaches work on the theory that clients are "naturally creative, resourceful and whole," meaning the coach looks to the client as the expert.

Fung, who was a psychologist before switching fields, puts the difference this way: A therapist is more likely to help someone recover from problems, while a coach helps people set goals and get the most out of life.

Psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists have voiced concern that coaches cross the line into therapy by helping clients transform their lives.

In an oft-quoted Harvard Business Review article titled, "The Very Real Dangers of Executive Coaching," former Harvard faculty member Dr. Steve Berglas writes that in an "alarming number of cases," an executive coach can make a bad situation worse by not understanding the client's underlying psychological problems.

A half-dozen states, including Washington, have tried to register coaches the way they do counselors, but the ICF has been able to satisfy the states so far with their ethics and standards and accreditation programs, Fisher says.

How do you find a coach, and what's the cost?

You can find coaches in the Yellow Pages, by referral and by checking the Internet.

Vilas of Coach U says people should call three coaches and go through the free half-hour session. Ask them about their ICF standing and their training background. Ask for references.

Some coaches say it takes a minimum of three months to help people identify their goals and get a start. It is not a cheap process. The cost of a coach can run anywhere from $150 a month to $1,000 a month, Vilas says.

For $150, he says, a client can expect a half-an-hour phone session a month. Vilas charges $500 for three half-hour sessions. Or a coach might charge $1,000 a month for four one-hour sessions.

What is life balance?

It's different for everyone, some coaches say, which is a change from the early days in this movement, when finding life balance was closer to time management. That is, allotting equal amounts of time for each area of your life, or putting most of the time in your highest priorities.

Today, finding the right balance is considered a fluid process. For example: Are you starting a new business? Then put extra time there, but keep returning to your values, your goals so you can set boundaries without feeling guilty.

Your time and energy could be perfectly apportioned, but you could still feel out of balance "if you aren't satisfied with what you're doing," says Terry Taylor, co-president of the ICF-Puget Sound Chapter.

Are you shorting your spiritual side or time with friends and family or yourself?

In choosing to say no or doing fewer things, we can stop rushing and start improving our lives, says Irene Myers of Career and Life Design. "Inevitably, we run into the fact that there's a limit to how much we can stuff into a day."

What are the alternatives to hiring a life coach?

There are many books on the subject, including "Life Makeovers" by Cheryl Richardson, organized into 52 chapters of weekly actions for people who feel overburdened and overwhelmed.

If you need someone to push you along, ask a friend or colleague to be an "accountability buddy." Are you going to the gym today or aren't you? What are you still doing at work at 8 p.m.?

A Coach U organizing tool, the Clean Sweep program, is a 100-question survey that helps users see what's working and what needs attention in their lives.

Vilas of Coach U said he scored a 41 on the program, but started down the checklist as he took care of things left undone, and five years later scored 97. "The higher my score, the better my life got," he said. "It was no accident."

The not-for-profit Centerpoint Institute for Life and Career Renewal (www.centerpointonline.org or 206-622-8070) in Seattle offers a one-day workshop for $139 to help people "get unstuck and move forward." It also has weeklong programs for people to rebalance.

The YMCA is modifying programs to help people find a better balance of spirit, mind and body, says Christin Baker, marketing and membership director of the downtown Seattle YMCA (www.seattleymca.org or call 206-382-5003).

"We are acutely aware that people are just screaming for balance," says Baker.

Sherry Stripling: sstripling@seattletimes.com.

Staff reporter Sarah Anne Wright contributed to this report.

Lori Sledge, MS, CPC
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