Alignment

Good Intentions Lead to Squandered Opportunity

Some of you may think it a mistake to hire the children of your family or friends. Others have no problem hiring these youngsters.

I worked with a new business owner who had hired her dear friend's daughter as a receptionist. She had known the daughter, a high school student, for a long time. The receptionist position seemed like a great way to prepare for the work world and possibly for college.

After a few weeks on the job, the owner began to realize her friend's daughter underperformed, had lousy customer service skills, and showed up late, or not at all. She smelled of alcohol a couple of mornings, including the morning of her last day on the job. While this problem unfolded, the owner contacted me for help in making a decision.

In our initial interview, I learned the owner felt a lot of pressure. She had just put everything on the line in a plan to raise her successful business. Only a few weeks after implementing the plan, she hired her friend's daughter.

From tipsy to topsy-turvy
My client felt at odds with wanting to remain an effective boss and a nice woman, as well as a good family friend. These intentions conflicted with her perception of herself as a successful businesswoman.

Although my client said she had solved the problem, she also said she still felt bad about the experience. After an anxious discussion, I learned she had merely laid-off her friend's daughter.

I changed the subject to shift the focus off my client's lament. I asked her about her vision for her company. She shared ideas she hadn't previously articulated. In our process, she described her vision of opening a franchise school and managing three sites: A flagship site plus two others.

Our discussions included imagining planning meetings, company trips, award ceremonies, and required revenues for future steps. Eventually, I asked her: "Where does a drunk young woman fit into your plans?"

Immediately she saw the value of aligning her business decisions to her business vision. "Uh, er, oh," she said. "But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings," she cried the common wail of many conflict avoidant people.

Follow your path
I asked my client a few questions:

• Could you raise your expectations of the young drunk?
• Can you align great boss and great woman?
• How would this careless employee hear you telling her she's flat out fired because she doesn't fit into your success model?

The questions led my client and me to explore action options:

• Request a meeting to explain the basis for firing: Drunkenness on-the-job and inappropriate behavior
• Give the young woman the business cards of a therapist, a personal life coach, perhaps an AA group; people who can help her get off alcohol, finish school, and get on with her success
• Help her understand you want her to contribute to the success of your business, not drain it

Fired versus laid-off
By questioning and exploring options with this young woman, my client has given her a vision she can wrap her arms around. Ideally, she understands that someone sees her potential and wants her to succeed.

I told my client, "When you laid-off your friend's daughter, you chose a safety strategy to avoid confrontation. If you fire her, you create an opportunity for her to figure out her behavior while she's young. Telling her to come back makes you a GREAT woman and boss."

"The young woman very likely will thank you for the rest of her life."

Back To Top